1) If the principal gay vampire guy was a football hooligan with no emotions and he supported an English mid level team like Millwall and he spent the film on the set of Green Street drinking pints and being uneloquently racist.
2) If all characters had a gun instead of a dick or fanny.
see above for graphic representation of principal gay vampire character with gun penis
3) If there was a scene where the principal gay vampire guy was at the hot girls house and he used her bathroom and she asked him how it was and he said 'i had to make a shit in your toilet too, i hope you dont mind' and then she said 'I dont have a toilet'. That would be good.
4) If the film featured Mosh Pit girl in any way shape or form.
5) If the principal gay character (who we'll call edward from now on) made the hot girl sleep in a coffin when she stayed over.
6) In a random plot twist a nuclear explosion goes off and makes everyone radioactive and their faces change. See below.
7) If this was the ending. go to 1 minute in to really see what I mean.
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