Football

Hi I am Dan. I asked my friend Fergal was he going to our weekly football match 'Fergal' I said 'Are you going to football?'. He declined as he had shin splints. 'No, I have shin splints. I am not going' he said. That was ok. I collected my friend Damian and we went to football.

Later that evening at football no-one turned up. Me and Damian sat in the car but no-one turned up. So I sent Fergal a text message. I told him that because he wasn't there the other people who play football tried to beat us up and put us in a 100 foot tall wooden replica of him and then burn us alive, but we escaped and were currently in the emergency room with Tony Hawk awaiting a heart and kidney transplant respectively because we got so many dislocations from our daring escape.

Fergal did not believe us. See below for accurate representation of 100 foot tall wooden replica and other proof of nights events.

Replica complete with fifteen foot wooden beard.

Thats me on the right.

An accurate representation of scenario.

There may have been zombies but I cant remember cos I'm tired from makin shit up.